Have you ever been in a relationship where you were kept at arms length?
Close enough so they know you’re there but far enough that you’re just holding on by a thread.
Where going to visit is mostly going to end with you going home.
Where the closest thing you get to romantic was your first date and maybe a text or two.
Where everything else seems like a burden because you have to ask for it.
Where you sit here wondering when it’s going to end because you know it will eventually.
When you sit and wonder why you’re still doing it when you have a tattoo forever on your arm as a reminder of how enough you are.
Telling yourself that you’ve done this before and it wasn’t right then so why is it suddenly okay now.
Beating yourself up for letting it happen and getting played.
Made to think that you are important but only being given enough that only makes you somewhat question why the fuck you’re still sitting here.
What’s stopping you from leaving? You have your shoes on, you’re on your second ciggarette and your coat is on your lap but you’re still fucking sitting here.
I wrote this blog about a week ago and at the time these were my thoughts. Since then I have built up the courage to share my concerns and figured everything out but I still wanted to post this as a reminder to myself since this has happened to me multiple times even though it doesn’t need to.
I do not owe anyone my time if they so clearly don’t want it.