Posted in 2017, blog, happiness, lessons, life, love, mental health, Uncategorized

Changing Lives.

Over the past 6 months I have, not only experienced things that have helped make me into a better person, but have also helped me take steps to work towards personal, emotional and mental success. 

I decided, after Lord knows how long, to download the WordPress app again and share some of these experiences. Even if I may be the only one to read it. 

First of all, this past summer was the first step in realizing life doesnt always have to be so mundane and repeditive; that good things are still possible. Now, I’m talking about the good things that would happen when I was younger and I’d practically be tearing open at the seams with pure joy.  That kind of good. 

Basically, what had happened was I managed to join a group of people set out to help local children and adults in the community, known as Keystone SMILES AmeriCorps and they provided me with the opportunity to be a counselor at a week long childrens summer camp for the first time. 

Now for someone with pretty solid anxiety about trying new things and exiting my comfort zone I remained excited about this the entire way through and left camp with incredible experiences, great stories and a few good friends too. This experience actually managed to clarify what I wanted to do with my life, pertaining to my future career. Aka, a teacher!

This experience also led to a few more realizations for me. One of which being the fact that there is no way that I can remain happy without challenging myself and even more so, leaving my home. So, because of this I created a bucket list. 

This list is scattered with plans for the time between now and the next 5 years but all of them play a pretty massive role in my life. Whether it be going to therapy, which I have my second appointment for tomorrow afternoon, or saving money. ($150.00 so far!) 

Moral of this story, take risks, experience life. Strive for more! 

Wish me luck!

♡until next time. 

Posted in 2017, anxiety, blog, blog topics, depression, emotions, health, life, post a day, suicide, thoughts, writing

Traveling Realizations

So I just got done reading an amazing post by Thisisyouth titled Nepal 54: Anxiety Takes hold and it really got me thinking. Before reading this post I would consider whether or not a change of scenery would help my mind and the feelings and emotions that I have on a daily basis. Upon reading this incredibly well written post I’ve discovered that a change of scenery isn’t always a “fix all” for life. 

Honestly I really should have known this when I, the girl who struggles with getting out of her car in parking lots because of anxiety, decided to book a Motel in Pittsburgh for a job that I was 100% unqualified and unemotionally prepared for because doing so led to a previous post of mine, Death Without Dying

Now I know that alot of my blogs are somewhat dark but incase you don’t know me, my name is Emily and this is important. 

Your mental health is so important. I really can’t stress that enough. The bad part about your mental health is the fact that it is mental as in, regardless of where you are or who you’re with, it will always be there. 

You could get sick, that’s environmental. You could lose faith, that’s religious. But if you’re like me even in the slightest you know that if your life is crashing around you- a change of seating won’t fix it. 

I learned an extremely important lesson today. I learned that even if your world is falling because of your mental health mixed with everyday struggles and you’ve done everything you possibly could to change it except analyze your own mental stability, NOTHING will change.

If you aren’t willing to put all of your cards on the table, or ask for help like I did then nothing will change. 

I’m more than aware that putting aside my pride and asking for help today won’t fix everything but it helped. It helped a hell of alot more then jumping into the next situation blindly. More than uprooting my life for 4 days, trapped in a 10×10 room afraid to leave and deathly afraid to stay. 

Incase you haven’t noticed I’m not one to sit still but hopefully this will mean something coming from someone who is restless, full of anxiety and struggling with hardships for years (more recently the past month.)

Sit down. 

Stop exactly where you are and sit down. Breathe. Think. Feel. 

Get it out before it destroys you from the inside because your mental health is so, extremely, unbelievably IMPORTANT.


I need to add this here because I’m thankful to have found the post that led to this blog. Thank you very much for allowing me to have the opportunity to read your blog, thank you for liking my previous post and thank you for allowing me to reference you in this one.